This is Part 2 in our series on some of the lessons I have learned as a youth pastor in regards to the huge role dad's play in the life of their high school students. This week we are going to focus on the big 5 ways that dad's can protect their daughters leading up to and through their teenage years.
1. Love Your Wife With Excellence
Dad's, when you are love your wife intentionally, sacrificially, joyfully, and practically, you are winning your daughter's heart in the process. When you are kind, patient, gracious, affectionate, and tender with your wife on a consistent basis you are not only building your daughter's trust and faith in you, but you are also setting a standard in your daughter's heart and mind on what she will look for in her husband someday. If you love your wife well you are protecting your daughter from future heartbreak, if you don't love your wife well, you are actively lowering your daughter's standards for the type of guy she will fall for. This is a huge deal!
"when you are love your wife intentionally, sacrificially, joyfully, and practically, you are winning your daughter's heart in the process"
2. Pursue Your Daughter's Affections
When I first started dating Mary it became instantly clear to me that her daddy was the number one man in her life. This was the case not because her dad imposed his will on her or because she feared her dad but because his kindness and love towards her had won over her affections.
Are daddy-daughter dates a priority on the calendar? Does your daughter know she is loved and that she is her daddy's princess? Do you verbally affirm your daughter? Are you affectionate to your daughter? - I cannot begin to explain to you the difference it makes in young women's lives when they know, love, and trust their fathers. This doesn't happen on accident but through the intentional pursuit of your daughters affections. Make it a priority!
3. Win The Media War
Jr. High and Sr. High girls are social beyond anything I can even begin to grasp! And because of that it is vital that you win the media war! Winning this battle includes monitoring texts, internet, Instant Messenger, and Facebook. As a rule, internet chat rooms are a really bad idea!
It is also vital that you sit down and explain to your daughter that this is not an issue of trust, but an issue of you loving and protecting your daughter from real danger. I have seen too many cases of nice, sweet, and trusting girls be taken advantage of through media. You cannot be soft on this!
4. Be The Adult
I read this quote and absolutely loved it "you cannot be your daughter's protector while simultaneously being her suitors best friend." You get and need to set the standards when it comes to dating. Talk to your daughter often about her boyfriend and what is going on in the relationship. Sit the guy down and lay out the law...I have found if you have this conversation while holding a gun it goes better for you!
In all seriousness, it is a mistake to assume the best and not address the physical side of your daughters relationship. Fight for her purity and be the adult! By the way, this will be must easier to do if you are doing points 1 and 2 really well. You need to prove to your daughter you love her and are on her side!
5. Model Genuine Repentance
I firmly believe this is the most overlooked aspect of parenting and failure of parents to model repentance to their children are devastating. Just because you are a dad doesn't mean you are no longer a sinner and wont mess up. Be honest about it, repent to you daughter when you sin against her and point her to the fact that you are a sinner saved by grace and you are reliant on Jesus everyday. Model your relationship with Christ in real, practical ways and your daughter will run to her Heavenly Father because her earthly father, who she loves has been faithful to point her to Jesus!
Being a parent, like everything else is not about you, its all about Jesus!
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